Unwanted Phone Calls

Just the other day, when I was reading through Cathnews, my mobile phone rang and when I picked up the phone, an aged and somewhat raspy - though not unpleasantly so – voice introduced herself and asked how she could go about writing something for CN.

Within two minutes of the conversation, I knew it was “one of those calls” – from people seeking an outlet for their frustration at things gone wrong within their church.

Without going into details, this woman wanted to write a letter of complaint of her hurt caused by a fellow parishioner in the ministry they served in. Apparently, that person had made a remark about her not having the Holy Spirit with her.

I took a deep breath and said a quick prayer.

We ended up having a rather nice and brief chat and I *think* I managed to convince her that the best thing to do would be to approach the spiritual director of the ministry to explain what had happened and ask him for advice on how to deal with her hurt.

The conversation ended well and I sincerely wish her all the best. Serving in ministry can be painful at times, when you encounter difficult and accusatory people who seem to be there simply to pick on your faults and failures… but nevertheless, letters of complaints or comments to be placed on your adversary’s Facebook profiles, is not the way to go.

I was glad that I had managed to sneak in a quick prayer before responding to the caller. All she needed was an avenue to channel her frustration and pain. I don’t think it would’ve helped if I had been clinical and told her CN is not the place for her to do that.

Also, I remember all the many calls that came my way.

There was one lady who called to complain about her parish’s St. Vincent De Paul to reach out to a few specific needy she knew. In that bitterness, she had railed out against the Church and to her, the Church was only good for speaking about social mission, without real efforts to help.

I tried to explain to her that inadvertently and most unfortunately, there will always be a few people who would fall through the net of help given. But the more I tried to reason with her, the angrier she got.

She spoke for 45 minutes. At some point, she was yelling at me. That made me angry.

I was praying for guidance on how to end the phone call. And then, I don’t remember what happened but I managed to get a word in, say something that I don’t remember to her, and she responded, “Thank you for listening to me. I’m sorry if I was yelling at you.” And then she hung up.

Amazing!

Still, I have to confess that I’m not always this patient. There have been many callers who didn’t receive better from me. There was even one man who had been insulting me the whole time he was on the phone, whom eventually, I slammed the phone down on.

What happened next was instantaneous: The moment the receiver touched the phone and I knew the line went dead, the bout of guilt that hit me penetrated my entire being. It was like my system went into shock. I had done wrong.

And of course, I just had to remember with so much clarity, the late Father David Thexeira telling us as catechumens, that to reject a phone call is to commit the sin of rejection. Of all times to have such great memory.

That was the time I knew, I had to find better recourse to handle such phone calls. So each time they call, I quickly say a prayer, before their anger over their individual situations get to me, and I react negatively as well.

I can’t say I don’t mind receiving unwanted calls. It’s still very tough. I keep thinking to myself, “I’m not a helpline. I can’t solve your problems!” And then I remember I don’t have to, but just to listen.

It’s tough. So if you’re the one calling me, do say a prayer for me too!

Filed under: General

In the Beginning.

Recently, I’ve been wondering why I’m still with CatholicNews, after four years.

Honestly, my vocation with CN can’t exactly be called that – a vocation. Unlike my colleague Daniel Tay, who is fulfilling his calling to be a Catholic writer, who contributes articles and reflections to the Catholic community via his personal blog, and who enjoys meeting with people in the archdiocese, I don’t do any of those.

And yet, when I think about how I got this job at CN, it still feels as if God had paved the way for me to arrive here.

As the first entry to this blog, a journey down memory lane might be worth taking – as a personal time of reflection and by way of introducing how my name appears as byline to articles in CatholicNews now.

Four years ago, I was a copywriter working in an international advertising agency, one that had clients with suitably indecent budgets to blow on promotional materials of all sorts.

What I enjoyed tremendously about it was the adrenaline rush that fuelled me to work beyond what my body would allow, the late nights toiling away with fellow friends and colleagues, the exposure to different clients and products that allowed me to learn many things across various industries, the beautiful view of the colourful containers at the PSA set against a skyline and the sea, pantry stocked with beer given by our APB clients, a sharp mind cultivated by working in a culture where you are expected to be witty, confident and smart, and the space to be open about the many naughty adventures that you encounter and experience.

The job was great fun but pretty much, meaningless, to me.

One fine day, a friend from my parish, Church of the Holy Spirit, casually remarked to me that a writer had just left CN and they were looking for a replacement.

I didn’t think too much of that.

A week or so later, another friend excitedly encouraged me to write in to CN.

I thought, Ooook, maybe I should.

So eventually, I did – the whole time, I wasn’t entirely thrilled by the idea of joining CN though it already felt like one of those times in life where you move along with a current you know not where it came from, only to have it resolve itself (together with you) in the end.

Went for an interview with our Managing Editor, Father Johnson Fernandez (affectionately, “Father Boss” to me) and he was amazingly kind and holy.

Tried to pray about this but I wasn’t sure what happened when soon enough, Father Boss called me to say CN wanted me. We negotiated salary which was once again, extremely reasonable. Father Boss was honest, upfront and very kind. And still is.

Honestly, I wasn’t ready at all. I hadn’t wanted the job much, it was merely an option to me.

So there I agonised – should I leave my company and lifestyle to work at CN?

Strangely, at the peak of my confusion, I remembered the prayers I made to God, which was really just one prayer uttered in many variations.

“Lord, if this is really what you want me to do, please let the interview and everything else go through really smoothly. I don’t want a situation where I have to think about pros-and-cons of this job vs that. You want me there, you have to pave the way and make it really smooth – so smooth that it’s an obvious choice!”

With that recollection of the prayer I have been making in those days (without me even realising it), the answer was clear.

Filed under: General, Personally Most Moving